As many of you know, I spent several years as an organizational consultant, specializing in communications. In business, it had become acceptable to offer "constructive criticism" to employees when an employer wanted to see better result. However, I observed that employers often did not see significant improvements as a result of their efforts. I believe the reason is that people don't generally experience criticism as positive.
Just the word criticism implies negativity. Many of us who have experienced criticism growing up, found such advice to be laden with blame, with an emphasis on what was wrong with us. Here is the actual definition of criticism by Encarata:
crit·i·cism n
1. a spoken or written opinion or judgment of what is wrong or bad about somebody or something
2. spoken or written opinions that point out one or more faults of somebody or something
3. considered judgment of or discussion about the qualities of something, especially a creative work.
Also called critique
4. See critique n. 1
Does this sound positive to you?
I coached the employers I worked with to avoid the whole concept of "constructive criticism." (By the way, I often encourage people to whom I provide spiritual counseling to do the same thing in their personal lives.) So what do you do when some one's performance is not meeting acceptable standards and needs to be addressed?
First, most of us appreciate the opportunity to evaluate ourselves. Give someone the opportunity to tell you what they are doing well, what they would like to improve, and how they will make those improvements.
Second, tell someone what is working. Often lax performance is remedied when the person focuses on their strengths and simply applies them with more frequency.
Third, tell someone what you would like to see more of. "I need you to be more punctual." Have the courtesy to tell them why this is significant to you. Ask them if they would be willing to do this. Most of the time, they are going to be willing to accommodate you. Then ask them how you can support them in making this adjustment. Most often, they won't want much from you....maybe a little understanding as they adapt their own habits, or learn new skills.
Sometimes, they'll actually set standards for themselves beyond any expectation you might have. Then, you might want to suggest relaxing the standard a bit, so that they will set achievable goals for themselves. You may find they get really creative with ideas about how to motivate themselves to make changes. And you can help them in that process by suggesting ways you can support them in their efforts and recognize their improvements.
By the way, I was also a school teacher for many years, and these three steps work equally as well with kids.
When you eliminate the words, "constructive criticism" from your vocabulary all together, you are left with an opportunity to create a new and more positive approach. Is "constructive criticism" ever constructive? Well, maybe there are individuals who have found a way to do that, but in my experience, it is easier and far more inspiring to positively support and reinforce each other in becoming all that we long to be.
For some perspective about self-criticism and political criticism, read the latest article, "Have You Been a Little Too Hard On Yourself?" at Soul Purpose: http://findingyoursoulpurpose.blogspot.com/
